Friday, November 7, 2008

November 4th

November 4Th came. It is my oldest nieces 11Th birthday, but its also a date I will never forget.

November 4Th was my first estimated date date. I remember telling my niece that the baby was due on her birthday. She was so thrilled and proud that she was going to share her birthday with her Auntie Sue's baby.
When the day came it was a very sad day for me. I took it very hard. I was trying to grasp at the realization that I was supposed to be delivering or getting ready to deliver my first child. My thoughts are all over the place. Why me? Why aren't I big as a house with a beautiful baby belly? Why did God take my two chances of motherhood away from me? I have been a bit depressed lately because of this. I am trying to stay positive but its so hard. My husband just wants his happy wife back. I am trying I really am. It really hurts to see mothers with their babies. Why wasn't I given my chance?

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