Monday, August 29, 2011


This is what true happiness looks like. A few weeks ago I had some pictures taken by my brother. As you can see Luca loves to give me kisses. He truly makes me laugh everyday. They a picture is worth a thousand words. My brother caught my true emotions. Looking back on the last few years, I never dreamed I could be this happy. I only dreamed of having my baby in my arms. Through all the sadness, depression,disappointment and anger I never saw that I will have real happiness. I had faith that I will be a mom but I never really knew I would ever be this happy.

What's Luca up to?

I stopped pumping at work. WOO HOO! He is now only breastfeeding morning and night and when I am home, I only work 3 days a week, he will breastfeed during the day. I love our night feedings on days I work especially. I really get to reconnect with him and feel so close. I am glad I stuck with it. In the beginning it was hard. I didn't have alot of milk and needed to substitute with formula at a few weeks old. He then developed a dairy allergy. I had to stop eating dairy. It was tough in the beginning but kept with it. Now at almost 11 months he eats everything now. I slowly introduced dairy back in my diet and his and I am happy to report he grew out of it or never really had it to begin with. This happened with my niece as well. His favorite foods are raviolis, lasagna, and pasta and meatballs. My true Italian boy!

He is sleeping incredible at night. Thank you Dr. Ferber. The best thing I ever did. About a month ago we did the sleep training on him. I wrote a blog about that. Well I am happy to report he is still doing great with it. I put him down to sleep at night usually at 7- 7:30 pm and just smiles at me and goes to sleep. He does not wake up at night. If he does he does not cry. He will play with his Elmo and bear in his crib and go back to sleep. He will wake up at around 6-6:30 am.

He is cruising around with his awesome walker. We got him the Fisher-Price Stride to Ride Dinosaur. He loves it. I figured he would have it a long time. He can ride it later. He flies around the house with it. A huge smile on his face so proud of himself.

He says a few words now too.

"Mamma", "dadda", "papa", "nana", "whats that?", he points to the light and will say"La"(light), "ca"(car), "uck"(truck). He plays peek a boo and dances when he hears music.

His favorite book is Good Night Gorilla. He gets so excited and laughs when I take it down from the shelf. We read that every night!

His favorite songs are, "If your happy and you know it" and his all time favorite since he was a newborn is the "Ants go Marching". He can be crying when I put him in his car seat and I put these songs on and he claps his hands, dances and moves his head back and forth. Sometimes we listen to them over and over if its a long car ride home :)

And lastly he loves the stairs. I didn't have them blocked off because I didn't think he knew how to go up them. Well about a month ago I found him on the second step. I said "OK you want to go up?". He went up the whole set of stairs. All 13 of them so fast. Like he had been doing it all along. It totally amazed me. How did he know to do that? Now the gate is constantly there. He is fast and when he is quiet, look out. He is doing something he shouldn't be.

I am truly enjoying motherhood. Time for another one you say? We are definitely trying. On our own this time. We will try for about 6 months and if nothing I will see my RE again. It will be nice to give Luca a friend. A part of me is so happy with just him but I don't that will be fair for him. I feel so lucky to have him but another part of me really wants to be pregnant again. Maybe really enjoy it this time without being so petrified and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel so blessed I think anything is possible. I have truly found happiness.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


I have had a few people reach out to me and email me. They came across my blog and wanted to share their story with me. I cant tell you how that makes me feel. This is the reason why I wrote this blog to begin with. I wanted to let people know, you are not alone, this is what happened, it will all work out in the end. Don't give up and have faith. Also when I was going through everything, I didn't have a place where I could read to see what will happen or what works. I wanted that for people. I wanted to say to whoever reads, please keep the faith. I am a firm believer if you want something, you have to believe and make it happen.

Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a mother. I wasn't into having a huge career. I just wanted to be a mother. I was not going to give up. I would of done anything to have that happen.

Now I have this miracle baby boy who I am so in love with. He makes my day when I come in his room in the morning and he dances and gets so excited when he sees me. He cant wait for me to pick him up. He just hugs me so tight or at night when I breastfeed him I just think I used to dream of doing this. I hold him in my arms and I think, it was all worth it. I was waiting for you for a long time. You were so worth the wait.

I had faith that this day would come. I think I am a better mother for it all. I feel every day with him is so special and I don't take one day for granted. He is so healthy, smart, and his motor skills are so incredible. He amazes me every day.

I want to say to you all, please have faith. Don't give up hope. You will be mothers. You will hold your sweet baby in your arms. You will hold the baby you dreamed of and waited for.

Please feel free to email me. I am always here to answer questions you have.