Friday, February 26, 2010

Released from RE

Another hurdle I just jumped over this morning. This morning we had another ultrasound appointment. The baby is measuring at 8 weeks. A very strong heart beat which was 168.
The ultrasound tech and the doctor said that all looked so great. She released me and said I can now stop estrogen but still take the progesterone until 11 weeks.

I have been getting pains on my right side this morning and she said that they are round ligament pains.

Pregnancy, Round Ligament Pain Overview:
Abdominal pain during pregnancy is common. Most often it is a result of round ligament pain. Round ligament pain is due to normal changes that take place as your body is transformed by pregnancy. There are other, abnormal, treatable causes of pain that your health care provider may want to check. Therefore, any new or significant pain should be reported to your doctor.

Pregnancy, Round Ligament Pain Causes:
Round ligament pain refers to a type of pelvic pain caused by stretching of the round ligaments. This occurs more commonly on the right side of the pelvis.
Your uterus is normally the size of a pear. Thick ligaments, one of which is called the round ligament, hold your uterus in suspension within your abdomen. As the uterus grows in size and weight, these ligaments become very long and thin, stressing and tensing like rubber bands.
The ligaments pull and tug on nearby nerve fibers and sensitive structures, causing pain. The severity of pain can worry you. Although round ligament pain is uncomfortable, it is also very normal.
A ligament spasm, an involuntary contraction or cramp, usually triggers a sharp pain. These spasms are found more frequently on the right side than the left because of the normal tendency of the uterus to turn to the right.
You might awaken at night with pain after having suddenly rolled over in your sleep.
The pain may also be brought on by exercise.

I am praying this baby is continues to grow strong and healthy.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Week 7

Your Baby: Week 7
Baby's brain, both hemispheres,is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

I made it to week 7. I have an ultrasound on Thursday. Hopefully we will get some more good news.

I have been feeling more tired this week. I find myself in bed by 7:30-8 pm no later. I used to read before I fell asleep, but I have been finding myself too tired to even do that. I wake up every hour to pee and since I'm up I am starving in the middle of the night. A new symptom I have is heartburn. I don't even mind having symptoms. I know its all good.

I also have been listening to podcasts. I have found a few I really like. Pregtastic, A Pea in the Podcast and Babytime. I listen to them during my commute to and from work. They are great! You can also go to their websites and listen there.

I will post how my ultrasound went on Thursday. Please keep us in your thoughts. I hope our little superstar continues to grow strong.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Some good advice

I have been seeing a therapist for a little while now. I now only see her once a month. She has helped me tremendously with dealing with the losses, my eating disorder and fears I have with getting pregnant again. Last time we met she said "please email me when you hit milestones before our next meeting."
Yesterday I emailed her after seeing the heartbeat. I want to share her response with you.
She said:

"You made it through a very tough experience, but the important part is that you overcame a milestone. Remind yourself to stay present as much as possible and catch the negative thoughts before you buy into them. Stay focused on the facts versus the fears because these are the things you can control."

How true is that? I did overcome a huge milestone and I need to stay in the here and now. Today I am pregnant. I can't have the negative thoughts enter me. Like, "I am going to miscarry, this wont work, history will repeat itself". Those thoughts are not healthy to feel. If you constantly think negative thoughts, after a while you start to believe them.
I will focus on the facts which are these.

I saw my baby's heartbeat.

There is a baby inside me alive.

I made it past 6 weeks.

Once your baby has a heartbeat,usually visible on ultrasound at around 6 weeks,your odds of having a miscarriage drop significantly.

For women with no vaginal bleeding, most estimates suggest that the odds or having a miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat are about 4%.

The uterine septum is out.

I am on progesterone injections and estrogen which I never was on before.

I am being monitored every week.

I am not exercising at all this time.

I am using relaxation and imagery techniques every night.

I am working with a nutritionist and I am eating very well this pregnancy.

This pregnancy was conceived through IVF. They picked the best looking egg and only the best looking embryo was used.

That's what we all need to do. Lets focus on the facts. Lets not buy into our fears.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

We have a heartbeat!

Today we went for our first ultrasound. As I was driving down I was deep breathing and tried to relax. It was very hard to do. I was truthfully petrified. A part of me didn’t want to go. I was thinking the less I know the better.

The ultrasound tech came in and asked how I was. I said truthfully, I am so scared. I was shaking. I told her my history. She said well let me look around and then I will show you what I see. After 2 seconds she said, “well, you can relax. There is a heartbeat!”
It was 128 and I am measuring 6 weeks, 2 days. Which is exactly right. It was awesome. She went over it again and again so my husband and I could see it.
She then said that there is another sac but it doesn’t have anything in it. She looked at it and she then said she didn’t think it was another sac. It was too irregular looking. She thinks it’s a bleed. Which is when the baby implanted it bruised my uterus.
The ultrasound tech said usually we just watch you but we would watch you anyways. She sees this alot and all turns out fine. She said with your history you can come in as many times as you want. Just tell the doctor you want to come in a week or 2 weeks. She then she showed us the heartbeat again.
I was just so relieved. I was going in there and prepared to tell me there was no baby there or I miscarried.
My RE called. He said everything looks good. I can stop the progesterone shots and do the progesterone suppositories twice a day until I am 11 weeks. I am also on estrogen and he wants me to take that just once a day instead of twice a day. He said the bruise is very small and they will watch it. He said he wanted me to come in 2 weeks for another ultrasound. I said well doctor is am so scared can I come next week.He said absolutely.he said I am sure you are walking on egg shells and you will be will the baby comes out.
So I have another ultrasound in a week. My babies never made it past 6 weeks. So this is another hurdle I just jumped over.

One week at a time.

Today I am pregnant and I am so in love with my baby and its perfect little heart is beating.

Monday, February 8, 2010


I have come to think of this pregnancy as a Wii Fit game. The game that's an obstacle course and you have to jump over logs that come towards you or dodge big black balls that can knock you off if they hit you.

My weeks are those logs and I am so scared that I am going to get hit with one of those black balls and I will get knocked down.

I am taking this pregnancy one week at a time. Actually more like one day at a time. Today I reached my first hurdle. I am 5 weeks today. That may not seem like a big deal to some people but its a big deal for me. My first miscarriage was at 5 weeks. I also got my blood test back from this morning and it was 3,419. 7 days ago it was 220, so its going up nicely. The nurse said the numbers look great. I have to continue the progesterone injection every night and estrogen twice a day.

I have our first ultrasound on the 17th. I am looking forward to that and I pray all will go great with that. That will be my second hurdle I need to get through. I will be 6 weeks and 3 days. MY babies never make it past 6 weeks, so this will be a huge hurdle.

My symptoms are about the same. Just more tired, which is all good. Trust me I am not complaining! I just think my body is telling me "hey rest a bit while I get this baby to develop!"So I do. I am usually in bed by 8 pm. On the weekends I take naps during the day. Something I never used to do.
I also need to eat every 2 to 3 hours. I get very hungry. I cant seem to get enough salad and fruit, which is good. At least I am not craving cakes, ice cream or candy.

I am just taking one week, one day, one hurdle, at a time and I'm enjoying every minute of being pregnant.
I pray I will reach the end of this obstacle course. I know it will be long and there will be many hurdles that will need to be jumped over and in the end, my sweet baby will be put in my arms.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


A mantra is a powerful word or phrase that may or may not have meaning in the same way as a sentence. I compiled some mantras I found on the Internet and I asked some wonderful ladies on a board I go to.
I do relaxation every night and I want to say these mantras as I am doing the relaxation. When I feel scared, frightened,worried or anxious I am going to think of these mantras. I am going to put a copy of these mantras in my pocketbook so I will have them if I need to say them.
I am going to take care of myself and my sanity by keeping myself busy, entertained, and positive.
Here is a list I have compiled. If you have any others please email me or feel free to comment on this post.
I also complied this list to help others. Feel free to copy this entry and say them to yourselves.

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

My past does not dictate my future.

A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage.

Hope does not make bad things happen.

You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.

Whatever path you and the baby are on, you're already on. There is nothing you can do about it now, especially worrying, to change the outcome. Try to enjoy being pregnant and celebrate your little one!

My past does not determine my future.

History does not have to repeat itself.

One day at a time.

Today I am pregnant and nothing else matters.

I am going to have this baby!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Second betas are in

I went this morning for another blood test. My betas are 220. They did double from Saturday. The nurse said that was good. I don't go again until Monday.

I am trying to be positive. I am trying to think this one will work, this one will be different, but its very hard. My betas last pregnancy were great too.

I am trying to stay calm and relax. I just purchased a new relaxation CD. I do relaxation every night. I purchased this CD.

So You're Pregnant!
Imagery and Meditations for support during your First Trimester
Enhance your pregnancy experience, foster a deeper connection with your baby, begin to help form your baby's brain, and prepare for upcoming motherhood. Each exercise contains a general relaxation exercise, scientifically accurate imagery of your baby's development, a chance to "check in" with how you are feeling both physically and emotionally, and ends with a short meditation specific to your stage of pregnancy.

This recording contains three tracks:
Track1: First Month (positive pregnancy test - 6 weeks exactly)
Track 2:(7th week-10 weeks)
Track 3: (11th week - 14 weeks)

Each track is approx 22-25 minutes in length.

I think this will help me very much. I used her relaxation CD that was for the IVF process and it was great.