Some days are worse than others.

I have good days and bad days now.
I came home from work Tuesday night. My husband and I were going to go out to get our Christmas tree. I have not been in the spirit, but I want a tree in our family room.

Before we were leaving, my husband said to me that he needed to tell me something. He said, I want to be the one to tell you and you will find out sooner or later. I said what! Friends of our is 3 months pregnant. I couldn't help but cry. I want to be happy for them, but its so hard!

He said he was so sorry. He said it felt so weird when his friend told him. He was all excited he heard the heartbeat, saw the baby on the ultrasound, etc. My husband said he felt sad because he never got to do that with our baby. He then went on to say that his friends wife is happy that the baby is due in June because she wants a summer baby. Her sister wishes her son was born a little later so he would have a summer birthday.

Seriously? I said what difference does it make. They are having a baby! Do people really know how lucky they are? They nit pick on what months to have the baby? I don't understand some people. I wouldn't mind if I had a baby in January, March, September, or August. As long as the baby is healthy. It turned out to be a bad day.

Today was another bad day. I decided to do some shopping on my lunch hour at Toys R Us. Bad idea. Right when I walked in the store I knew I made a mistake. I was so overwhelmed with seeing mothers with their babies, moms and dads buying toys for their little ones, and don't forget of course I couldn't help but see the baby section with diapers, car seats, and cribs. It was all to much. I just walked around in a daze and had no what to buy. I just wanted to get out of there. I should of been buying presents for our little one. I called my husband crying. He said he will do the shopping for me not to worry about it. He is the best. I am so lucky I have him.

I still feel every day is a struggle and I feel I am just so sensitive. My heart has a huge hole in it. Do moms and dads know how lucky they are? Kiss your sons and daughters, you are so lucky you have them.