I have not been looking forward to January 4Th. I have been having a hard week because it was leading up to this day. When I got pregnant for the second time I told my parents my due date. It was the same day my grandfather passed away 3 years ago. After I miscarried I had it in mind that it was January 4Th. Last night we had a New Years party. We had to cancel the party on New Years because of the snow. Yesterday I was so busy getting ready for the party. I had a great time. I was a little nervous how I would be because one of our friends that was coming is 17 weeks pregnant. I was so scared that I would cry or get upset. I wasn't. I was so very happy for her and I was so proud of myself. I was actually able to talk about my pregnancies and with my friends last night. We had a great time and so much fun. We spent the night with good friends. Laughing until we almost peed our pants. Something I haven't done in a while.
This morning I went on my brothers website. He has a memorial page for my Grandfather. I noticed that he actually died on January 3rd. I then realized my due date was not the 4Th but the 3rd. Was this my bodies way of protecting itself? I sailed through yesterday not even thinking about it. I think sometimes our bodies and minds do sometimes protect ourselves. I believe it was one of those times. I had such a hard time with my first estimated due date that my body and mind just didn't want to go through that again.
Today I am here thinking that I got through that day laughing and having fun and being with friends and I did alright. I think I am finally slowly healing. It took about 7 months, but I am slowly recovering.
We are cleaning up the aftermath of the party. We are also taking down reminisce of Christmas.
I think about this new year and pray that good things only come our way. I made it through Christmas, New Years, and my estimated due date OK. I think I will be all right. I am slowing healing.