I decided I needed to see a therapist. I have been feeling very overwhelmed, depressed and I have been having a lot of anxiety lately. I went to see her last night. She is a marriage and family therapist and also a Reiki master.
She gave me an article she wrote (see below) and I have to say I find it very interesting. We are going to do the Body Dialogue next week. Body Dialogue is a process in which she will guide me into a deeply relaxed state and into a dialogue with the part of their body that needs healing, in my case my reproductive organs. In that dialogue, the person connects with and listens to the wisdom of the body and what it needs to heal. I will be "talking” to my reproductive organs and asking them what they need from me. OK, I know what you are thinking I have totally lost it. But reading that article I think our minds and bodies need to work together. I want to have a baby and be pregnant but my body doesn't want to get pregnant and have a baby. I need for my mind in body to be in sync with each other. I told her that I feel my body is just rejecting being pregnant. It’s not lasting more that 6 weeks. She then said that we need to definitely need to try this. I might also look into the Reiki if this doesn't work. I also need to get back into my Fertility yoga. I have been slacking in the working out department. I am just too tired at night, aka depressed. I need to work through this all and get back on track. I think it will help me mentally and physically.
Here is the interesting article.
Enhancing Fertility with Reiki and Mind/Body TechniquesBy Ulrike Dettling, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Reiki Master Teacher
We have seen tremendous changes in the recent past regarding new fertility technology, the changing roles of women in society, environmental changes affecting both men and women (and animals) and their reproductive functioning, childbearing at a later age for many women, new opportunities for lesbian women to bear and raise children with or without the use of reproductive technology, international adoption etc. etc. This article cannot possibly address all those changes and factors affecting fertility. Nor can it address all the psychological issues a couple is faced with struggling with fertility(1). The focus of this article is to present a program of mind/body techniques and Reiki which I have developed in my practice to support women/couples in their quest to become parents.An estimated 25 % or more of all pregnancies naturally end in miscarriage. 1 in 4 women experiences miscarriage, 1 in 300 women experiences 3 or more miscarriages in a row (Laura Mosedale, "Miscarriage: The Silent Loss" in: Child, June 1993, p. 85) The loss of miscarriage has been a taboo and generally the woman/couple do not receive the same kind of social support they would, nor are there the same kind of societal rituals, as when a death of a loved one in the family had occurred, even though a miscarriage is an equally devastating loss to the couple(2). Often there has been shame or stigma around issues of infertility and thus silence. Many couples do not disclose their struggles around fertility even to close friends and family members. Many marriages are pushed to the brink, when fertility issues arise. A lot of the tension for the couple stems from the lack of emotional support around this issue and the ongoing emotional ups and downs of the cycle of hope and despair, as the couple is trying to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term.I developed this program in my attempt to help women/couples with the stresses of the struggle with fertility. My intention was to help these women/couples cope with the stresses, to relax and find peace, to deal with the trauma of multiple losses, the grief, the cycles of hope and despair, the emotional ups and downs due to hormonal changes, the anxiety and distrust in one's own body that comes from unsuccessfully trying to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term, the self-blame.I am no medical expert in fertility issues. I learned a lot from my clients about the different medical options and procedures as well as from doing some reading and research on my own. I worked with the tools that I have at my disposal: counseling skills, mind/body techniques, hypnotherapy and Reiki (a form of energy healing that is deeply relaxing and removes trauma from the cellular consciousness in the body(3). A few years later, I found confirmation of the approach that I had been using with clients in Niravi Payne's book The Language of Fertility. Ms. Payne, a psychotherapist, had developed a holistic approach to fertility called the Whole Person Fertility Program(TM).According to the R.L.Vandenbergh study, women who had suffered from recurring miscarriages who worked in psychotherapy to express their anger directly rather than contain it in their bodies had a success rate of 80% for maintaining subsequent pregnancies. The women in the study, who did not enter into therapy, had a success rate of only 6%. (C. Northrup, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, NY: Bantam Books 1994, p. 363) Like Niravi Payne, I believe that clients can benefit from this work greatly, even if it doesn't lead to the birth of a child. Learning to cope with the stressors of the struggle with fertility in itself is a great gift to these highly-stressed couples. Finding other ways of having children in one's life, opening up other possibilities, surrendering, developing one's own creativity(4) can be helpful to the couple that's stuck in a vicious cycle of desperate attempts to get pregnant and loss.Given the number of clients I have worked with regarding fertility issues (maybe 20-30) since 1998 and the uniqueness of their situations, I cannot give out any meaningful statistics or generalize from my experience. Some clients come for just one or two sessions, and I may never see or hear from them again, or I may hear a year later that they gave birth to their child; others come on a regular basis for treatments or learn how to treat themselves with Reiki and self-hypnosis. Looking back on my experiences with clients, I realize that more treatments do not necessarily mean greater success. In some cases, all it took to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy to term was one session or a healing crystal.My clients included women undergoing IUI, IVF and egg donor procedures; lesbian couples; women suffering from endometriosis; painful, debilitating periods; ectopic pregnancies; repeated miscarriages; 'unexplained infertility'; scar tissue in fallopian tubes; low FSH; thyroid dysfunction; depression; women whose partner's sperm count was too low; women experiencing 2ndary infertility(5). Some of these women were using acupuncture, herbs, homeopathy, nutrition, exercise as complementary healing modalities. Some women/couples were participating in mind/body programs for infertility at hospitals, support groups, individual or couples psychotherapy. The age range was between 30-45. There are too many variables to present any conclusive research evidence, apart from the fact, that there was no control group.To protect clients' confidentiality I have changed identifying information. Clients have given me permission to share their stories in public.The first client was a psychotherapy client who had been suffering from severe endometriosis. She had had surgery, but developed the endometriosis again a few months later. She was afraid of having another (unsuccessful) surgery and not being able to bear children. I offered to do the Body Dialogue with her, a process in which I guide the person into a deeply relaxed state and into a dialogue with the part of their body that needs healing. In that dialogue, the person connects with and listens to the wisdom of the body and what it needs to heal(6). After just one session of Body Dialogue, the endometriosis disappeared and the person is now the biological mother of a happy 2 1/2 yr. old.Another, lesbian client who suffered from endometriosis (for which she had had surgery), severely debilitating painful periods and clinical depression became the mother of twins with the help of reproductive technology, the use of a relaxation tape and supportive psychotherapy.With both these psychotherapy clients, I could not integrate Reiki as a treatment modality(7).Even more stunning were the results of two other cases, one from my own experience, one from the experience of a trusted Reiki Master colleague. Both of us had superiors in our work places (in one instance a program director at a hospital, in the other the CEO of a big corporation) who had been through years of unsuccessful IVF treatments, unable to maintain the pregnancies of the implanted embryos. These two high-powered women were quite distressed and feeling out of control about their inability to carry a pregnancy to term. As it was not appropriate for us to do touch therapy with these two women, what we offered them instead was an egg-shaped crystal as a symbol of fertility charged with Reiki III healing energy. Both of us advised these two executives to hold on to this crystal and receive its healing energy whenever they felt anxious or distressed about their pregnancy, which they did quite frequently, in staff meetings, at the office, at the hospital, at doctors visits, at home, wherever they went. In both cases, for the first time in years, the women maintained their pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy child. There had been no other complementary intervention, in addition to the regular medical IVF treatments that they had been undergoing, than the healing crystal.The cases described above made me wonder whether the healing power of the subconscious mind and Reiki are underutilized in the treatment of infertility. The following case history convinced me that the subconscious/body mind (in conjunction with Reiki) can supercede medical diagnoses and interventions.This woman had been referred to me by acolleague, who had prior experience helping a client ovulate and conceive using energy healing.(8) She believed that I would be able to help this client with Reiki. During the intake, the client revealed a long history of unsuccessful IVF treatments over the last 2 years, 7 miscarriages and a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy. Both allopathic and holistic doctors had told this 40 yr. old woman that she would not be able to conceive naturally, as her left fallopian tube had been removed after the ectopic pregnancy and her right ovary had become atrophied and dysfunctional. This client had a poor prognosis of conceiving and giving birth without IVF. She had utilized mind/body programs at the hospital, meditation, self-hypnosis tapes, group support and the like prior to her session with me. When she came to me, she was at the end of her rope, severely traumatized and discouraged from the losses and medical interventions. It affected her entire life, the relationship to her daughter, her husband, her family, friends, medical professionals, with her self and her own body. She was determined to have another child, but she was now shaking going into the IVF treatments - the trauma was lodged deeply in her body and her psyche.This woman had come to me as a last resort. I wasn't sure I'd be able to help her have another child, but trusted that we would find out by doing the Body Dialogue: listening to what her body had to tell her.During the Body Dialogue, to our mutual surprise, her right ovary told her to stop the hormones and IVF treatments, to trust that it could help her conceive naturally and carry a healthy pregnancy to term. I told the woman to sit with this information from her subconscious mind and not make any rash decisions. In my hands-on Reiki work with her, I sensed that the left and right ovary showed an imbalance(9).The woman decided after the session, on her own, despite her doctors' predictions, to stop all the hormones and IVF treatments and to try to conceive naturally. During this time, she came for weekly Reiki treatments and learned how to do self-Reiki. Together we developed visualizations to help her conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy to term, leading to the birth of a healthy child. She listened to the relaxation/healing tape(10) and visualized her pregnancy in 3 steps and did self-Reiki twice a day, while lying down with her daughter for a nap and before going to sleep at night. During our Reiki sessions, we also worked with the mental/emotional healing process using affirmations pertaining to her situation. I also believe that a lot of emotional release on the cellular level occurred during those sessions. Within a short period of time, the woman calmed down, was able to relax and became more optimistic. She got back in touch with her spirituality and practiced prayer according to her spiritual tradition. After a few Reiki treatments, I sensed that her ovaries balanced out and that her right ovary was getting stronger. Within only 2 months, she became pregnant. Now it was a matter of sustaining this pregnancy through the first trimester and to full term, as she had a history of repeated miscarriages. We continued to do weekly Reiki sessions, bi-daily self-hypnosis/visualization and self-Reiki. The client also used the egg-shaped crystal charged with Reiki energy.After the first trimester(11), we phased out the Reiki treatments to once a month till the end of the pregnancy, when the client gave birth to a full-term, healthy baby girl. I gave the client one more Reiki session at home after birth and got to hold the beautiful new born "Reiki baby" as we affectionately called her.Since then I have been helping numerous women/couples in their struggle with fertility with mind/body techniques and Reiki. I work with some women outside the Boston area over the phone, guiding them through the Body Dialogue and preparing a customized self-hypnosis tape that helps them relax and visualize their pregnancy. They may or may not see a Reiki practitioner in their area for hands-on treatments.My treatment protocol is customized based on the needs of each individual client. In addition, I often suggest individual, couples psychotherapy and support groups. Reiki and hypnotherapy are adjunct therapies, not substitutes for psychological or medical care where that is needed.For more information or to schedule an appointment, please contact Ulrike Dettling at (781)648-9334 or www.arlingtonreiki.com1. See Niravi Payne's book, The Language of Fertility, NY: Harmony Books, 1997.2. According to research by L.G. Peppers and R.J. Knapp, there is no difference in the intensity or patterns of grief among women who experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. Dr. J. Sher states that losing a pregnancy equals losing a child, an anticipated child and that scientifically, i.e. hormonally, maternal feelings are strongest in early pregnancy. See Niravi Payne, ibid., p. 189.3. It is believed in energy healing that traumatic memories are stored in the cellular consciousness of the body. Reiki releases trauma from the cellular memory of the body without the person having to consciously relive or remember the traumatic experience. See Libby Barnett et al, Reiki Energy Medicine, Healing Arts Press, Rochester, VT, 1996. Also see my article on Reiki as Adjunct Treatment for Depression in: Arlington Reiki News, 19984. In energy healing, it is believed that the sacral chakra (energy center) which corresponds with your reproductive organs signifies both fertility and creativity.5. Of all couples with fertility problems, 60% experience 2ndary reproductive problems. This populations is invisible and the most emotionally isolated. See Felicia Halpert, "When You Can't Conceive Again" in: Parents Magazine, Sept 94, p. 29.6. I learned about the Body Dialogue in my training with Peggy Huddleston on how to conduct Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster (TM) workshops. See Peggy Huddleston, Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster, Angel River Press, Cambridge, 1996. I have developed this Body Dialogue further in my practice for uses with non-surgery clients.7. In the Code of Ethics, psychotherapists do not have permission to touch their clients.8. See “Energy Works Miracles” by Iris Stammberger in: Arlington Reiki News, Summer 1998.9. Reiki practitioners do not diagnose, perform or interfere with medical treatment. What I am describing here is an intuitive sensing while doing Reiki. Practicing Reiki enhances one's intuition.10. see above Peggy Huddleston, relaxation audiotape.11. The majority of miscarriages occur in the first trimester. See Niravi Payne, ibid, p. 189.
Ulrike Dettling Kalthofer M.A., L.M.F.T.
Arlington Reiki Associates
366 Mass Ave #304
Arlington, MA 02474(781)648-9334